Day Time Date Look

Hey guys! My Gosh it seems like forever since I last filmed any type of videos for you guys...But, I have managed to do so! I'm excited about starting up this new year (even if it is a month late) with new equipment. I've had a little trouble with getting software, and then finally being able to get everything uploaded...but we have success!

Anyways...For this look, I thought...why not do something that you could wear for a day time lunch date or do something that you could wear to work and then darken it up for an evening look. Not to mention, I really wanted to use the stuff that came in my January Ipsy bag, and thought this was a great way to do so. So here's my Day Time Date Look!

For this look I used:
Urban Decay Eye Shadow Primer Potion
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk
Pacifica Natural Beauty Eye Shadow in Ethereal
Urban Decay Smoked Palette-Freestyle
Urban Decay Smoked Palette-Kinky
Pacifica Natural Mineral Eye Pencil in Gunmetal
Bellàpierre Cosmetics Loose Powder Eye Shadow in Wheesk
NYX Liquid Eye Liner in Black
Makeup Forever Mascara in Smoky Extravagant
Revlon Photoready Bronzer
Smashbox Blush Rush in Paradise
Nars Satin Lip Pencil in Rikugien


And that's all for this look. I hope that you all enjoyed it!

Just a little color to the lips!

A Day Past Due

Before I begin, let me state this...This is my beauty blog...and I will write whatever I will that helps me feel healthy and beautiful. Also, I'm missing ONE thing in order to upload videos again. I already have one edited and ready to go, but need the encoder to do so.

Okay...Those that have been following me pretty regularly, knows that yesterday, January 28, was supposed to be my due date. I wasn't sure how I would feel on the day of, so I thought I would write this the day after. That and I wanted to go to my support group last night and discuss all that I was feeling before making it public.

Generally, it was a rough day. But it wasn't in a way that I thought it would be. Instead of the general morning of the loss of my child, it felt more like....the loss of hope? Anyone that has been through this would understand what I'm coming across. Yes, I'm still sad that I never got to spend any time with my little one, so don't take that as I am already over this. It will be something that I will never truly be over.

I realized that, with this have happening, that I will never take my family for granted. All those mom's that struggle with the teething, crying, burping, changing the smelly diaper....all those little things that most parent's take for granted, I lost out on. That was the hope that I missed. I knew that it would be hard...No one ever said parenting would be easy....

Not to sway, but someone once told me that I was torturing myself. She's never been through anything like this. Yet, she felt that she needed to tell me how I should grieve. Because she thought that I was holding on to this....loss...death...miscarriage in general, a little too hard. And because that we have similar faiths that I should take comfort in the fact that, ONE day I would be able to be with my baby up in Heaven.

I do. I know that, my little one missed out on suffering, heart ache, death, misfortune, etc... but that's not what I was sad about. My child died. It's that simple. You know that saying that every mother knows what it's like to have her heart on the outside? It splits every time you have a baby. And this is true. The little part of my heart that split and was growing into it's own, died. And my heart was torn from my chest, from my body....

She doesn't truly know how blessed she is. She gets to go home, every night, to her family. She gets to hug and kiss and play with her babies. When it's time for bed, she gets to kiss them good night, or cuddle with them until they fall asleep. She gets to wake up in the middle of the night and just check up on them. She will never understand that pain that I went through, both physically and emotionally. And I pray that she never has to.

It's the loss of hope. No...Not complete hope. It's the loss of hope for THAT little one. Knowing that yesterday my life was supposed to change. But it didn't. I knew that when I woke up this morning, my life would be the same as it was yesterday and that it will be the same tomorrow. Instead of fighting to get a car seat in my car to bring a baby home from the hospital, I get to fight with a cat again to give me my hair tie and to leave cords alone.

I still have hope...hope for the future. I now know that I can get pregnant. I have hope that my next pregnancy will run full term and the hope that I will bring my baby home.

I also have to turn and look a the world with different eyes. Even if, with my next pregnancy, that I manage to miscarry...I'm not going to hold onto the fact of being pregnant silent. I want my next child to feel all the love it has, not just from me and my husband, but from everyone. To know that it is truly loved even before it officially entered this world. I will shout it from the roof tops. Because, my babies (past and future) will always know love!
 
I also want other women who have gone through this to know that, you're not alone. And for those that have luckily never went through this, to see a little into this world. It's hard....and cold. And we mommies who lost our little ones, are just that....mommies no matter what.

So, with a Day past due, I've come to terms. I grief with hope. And that's honestly the best way I can describe it. I'm not dwelling, or holding onto. This is something that will forever be apart of me. Apart of my husband. Apart of my family.

Let's Get Fresh

Before I start on my first impressions of my January Ipsy bag, I must start by saying this.... I have good news and bad news. Good news: I finally have a video editing program. Bad news: I've had a stomach bug that has left me stranded to the bed for the last couple of days. Today is the first time in a while where I've actually felt half way normal.

Anyways...today I checked my mail, which was a thing in and of itself, and seen my Ipsy bag. Even when sickly receiving anything makeup wise will always make me feel better.

So, for this months Ipsy Bag, let me start by saying. I'm really digging the double sided back. One side blue and one white with an orange zipper. I think I'm starting to collect these awesome cute little bags. Lol. There are have been too many cute ones!

For inside my bag, I got 5 awesome things. I took pictures of them...but keep in mind that I'm trying some new things out, so if they don't turn out that great, I apologize. But anyways, here are my first impressions!

I got a bellapierre cosmetics shimmer powder in Wheesk. It's like a pewter color, and I did a small swatch of it...and I can not wait to do an actually test run with this!

I also go another brush...and trust me, you can never have enough brushes! This one is Elizabeth Mott All over shadow brush. It's pink with white and pink bristles...not that that matters much, but it is stupid soft!

Pacifica natural mineral coconut eye shadow in Ethereal was another eye shadow that I got. Even for a light beige color, it does stand on it's own legs when swatched. The only sad thing that I found...was it actually did not smell like coconut. That's right, I was hoping that it would. Oh well. My only issue was that I couldn't get it out of the package. Sometimes, it's the 1% rule. You know-be smarter than the thing by 1%.









I also received a eco-beauty day moisturizer. The pouch on this reminds me a lot of the pouched baby foods that are out now. But the amazing thing is that it has a twist top.






The last thing that I got in my Ipsy bag is a jouer conditioning lip treatment. After doing doing a little research, because why not...it's actually a Lip Enhancer. Pretty much, helps with fine lines in your lips and helps them appear fuller. It feels pretty good on, not too sticky, soft...but only time will tell.

Anyways, I'm really digging this bag.

Let's Do This

Happy New Year (even though I'm like, 9 days in)! This is my real first post/blog/whatever-you-want-to-call-this of the new year. I'm rather excited to be able to come to you guys with a fresh start.

I've still not managed to get my video editing software installed on my laptop. I'm somewhat technologically challenged. That, and I'm pretty sure the software that I had before is a little out dated...since it was made for Windows 7 or lower...So, it's time to find a newer/better one. For now, I think I'll film and then do like normal, and edit from the big computer. The plus side is that...everything that I really need to do for other things can be from Lappy386.

Let's Do This. That was on the front of my Birch Box for this month, and I thought....you know what, Let's!  Mainly for this entry, I'm going to talk about my first impressions of the things I got in my box.

So here goes:
Balance Me
Wonder Eye Cream| Full-size, $38
What: Antiageing multitasker that conquers wrinkles and dark circles at the first signs of aging.
How: Dab a pea-sized amount along under eye contour, steering clear of lash line.

Me: The sample size of it seems like it would last a couple of weeks. Just enough to see if there was any type of change in the area that it is meant for. The container also says that it "smooths, brightens, and lifts", and is meant for all skin types. Even on the back it has, "Gently tap and smooth our triple-action ey cream around the eye socket to help revitalize weary eyes, smooth away dark shadows and reduce visible apperance of fine lines." I might be hitting my late 20s, but that doesn't change from the fact that I'm not worried about aging! Maybe I should do an update...like before and after pictures... Hmm...

Curly Hair Solutions
Curl Keeper Gel| Full-size, $9.99-$17.50
What: Water-based, never-crunchy formula that fends off frizz and leaves curls sleek and shiny.
How: After styling, apply a small amount of gel to hair. To reactivate, smooth with wet hands.

Me: I'm kinda iffy when it comes to gels...I always feel like they leave my sticky, and my curls never hold the way that is "promised". I usually just stick with moose. As far as the packaging goes, I like the look of this one. The last hair gel sample that I received it was almost as if, use it or lose it and it goes every where. This one looks like it might be able to keep for a time or two usage. It also has a flat bottom, to help prevent the contents going wherever they want when you are applying it to your hair. This is a huge thing for me. The back says that is has the holding power without flakiness or crispiness, and because it's water based it doesn't leave you with product build up. I'm excited to try this.

Essentiel Elements
Wake Up Rosemary Body Lotion| Full-size, $19
What: Lightweight hydrator that heals dry skin and energizes with invigorating rosemary and mint.
How: Apply generously where needed. Keens, elbows, and feet are just some of the usual suspects.

Me: Let me just start by telling you what this packaging reminds me of...Something you'd by back in the 1920s from the apothecary for stomach issues. I don't know, it's weird and old timey, like. Not that it's a problem, it just...makes me not want to trust it. Lol. As for lotion, I'm really not big into musky sents. I feel...they aren't me. This is one of those. You get a full blown face wift of Rosemary. It almost smacks you in the face with how pungent it is, with a slight hint of mint...and I mean...SLIGHT! If I were in a pickle and really need some lotion would I ever use this...and that's saying something. It's not that I don't believe that it won't work for dry skin, it's just...who wants to smell like a roasted chicken when they walk around?

Miracle Skin Transformer
Treat & Conceal Eye & Face| Full-size, $36
What: Creamy, nondrying treatment that covers-and helps get rid of-blemishes and dark circles.
How: Apply a teensy bit (a little goes a long way!) where you need coverage.

Me: I really like how this is package. It's the way I would think a concealer would be, for when you have those little areas that need coverage but aren't contaminating the rest of the product by having to touch an applicator to your face and then back in the tube. Right under the label it even says that it covers, correct, and protect. I cheated and used a small size on the back of my hand, and it blended in nicely. Super smooth and really creamer, something that I'm looking forward using.

theBalm
Stainiac|Full-size, $17
What: Best-selling stain that gives cheeks and lips a sheer, rosy tint.
How: Dot onto cheeks and blend quickly. Seep over lips to give them a wash of color.

Me: I'm normally not a fan of stains. Either they are sticky or they dry my lips out. And even then, all of them are for lips. I put a little on the back of my hand to get a feel of the texture, and to see how well it stains. It wasn't the color I thought it was going to be. Since the stain is a RED color, even for a blush, it seems like a berry color...maybe that's a lighting issue in my house, I'm not too sure yet. For the packaging- It's very sleek. The only think I found that I didn't like, was that there was no name for the color itself. Ingredients and a little more product info in both English and in French are on it, but no name for the color. 

Well, that's about it. This is the first Birch Box that I have liked in a while. Most of the other stuff for the past handful of months have left me a little disappointed. I'm rather excited, for the most part, about this Box. I'll update on what I think about these products that I used.           

Happy New Year!

Let me begin with, Happy New Year! I'm looking forward to see what 2015 has in store for me and my husband. Because, let's face it, 2014 wasn't too nice.

Speaking of...now that I was finally dating everything correctly, it might take me almost a full year to remember to write the date '15 and not '14. Come on, brain!

Normally for New Years, I don't make any resolutions. Why? Because I usually make them about being eating healthy and exercising. And within a week, I've managed to break all of them. So, this year, I'm going to set goals. I feel that Goals would be easier to attain, and wouldn't feel like I've let myself down when I don't reach them.

So, my 2015 Goals are:
1. Continue on the path of healthy-ness. I've already made the first step to going back to the gym and working out. (Another reason for goals is because I started a little early. Makes motivating myself a little easier when I've already made the first step.)

2. For my family, and my husband- Continue the journey to becoming myself again. Some days are still rough, and I know that it will always be that way. But, I can't let my loss take control like it did again. It's not just a, once I sink in the whole, that's it. Grief is a black hole and sucks not only you, but everyone else around you in. And...if I want to be able to try again successfully, I need to not worry about it all.

3. This last one has a bit of a back story. I've been begging my husband, for several years now, about getting my own laptop. He never really took my seriously until I started doing stuff for my YouTube Channel. Then it was more of a price thing. We wanted to be able to find a good laptop without paying a million dollars for it. 

For Christmas this year, my in-laws gave my husband and I some money. Which is always lovely when you know you have things that you would like to spend on and they have no idea where to start. Example: My husband wants to start getting his own tools for work, and they aren't cheap. We both know what he needs, because we work with these types every day, and my in-laws have no idea where to start. Anyways...after talking everything over, we were going to go with a refurbished laptop. Something relatively knew, and more in our budget.

Keep in mind, that with the newer tech stuff, that we have no idea really what specs we would need. My husband and I made plans to go out and ask questions before we started a real search. Not to mention we needed to take back a pair of shoes for him that he got for Christmas. (That's another story in itself.) We had decided that we would stop by Best Buy and talk to a couple guys and see what they had to say.

After looking around for almost 20 minutes and having no one come up and talk to us, (I understand that it was the weekend after Christmas and super busy, but no one said they'd come help us in a minute or anything. They mainly avoided eye contact with me...Come on!) my husband pulled out his phone and was Googling which processor ran better between two different ones. He then picks one up and starts to head to the check out (only stopping to pick up a copy of Guardians of the Galaxy). Once we were in line, he makes mention that this is my Christmas present, and that I'm to not ask for anything for a while.

Yay! There's the back story for the next goal. For real #3. To upload more videos! I'm not going to push myself into saying how many a week/month or whatever....because that never seems to actually happen. I never truly notice how crazy busy I am, until I try to do too much. I want to try to aim for one a week and then work my way up.

But first-I need editing software. I think the kind I had for the main PC of the house is lost. I have NO idea where it might be.  That does seem to be a problem. More than you might think....because I was wanting to try to get a video up and done for New Years, to continue...my Goals....of continuing things...   :)

Anyways, now that I've listed and typed way more than I thought...it doesn't help when you're a wordy person with a slight touch of A.D.D.  ...you tend to ramble.

In the end, I hope you all have a safe and happy New Years! I hope to see you all soon!

Pink Ribbon Tutorial

Okay, I know I know...This was supposed to go up last Monday... But due to it storming crazy (I mean, it's October and we had Tornado Watches and Warnings all over the place) on Monday, Tuesday my husband had a raid on Destiny that took 3 hours, Wednesday I forgot, Thursday was too close to Friday...so...blah. I waited.

Anyways, I wanted to do a slight pink theme to show my support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Not to mention, I was running late for work. I thought, how fitting-Manic Monday! And so it was. :)

Here is what I used for this look:
Too Face Shadow Insurance
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Strawberry Milk
Naked 3-
   Strange
   Limit
   Nooner
ELF Liquid Eye Liner in Black
Pacifica Mineral Eye Liner in Gunmetal
CoverGirl Flamed Out Mascara
Revlon Photo Ready Bronzer
Smashbox Blush Rush in Paradise
Cailyn Art Touch Tinted Lip Gloss in Love Affair

It's super simple, and super fast! I hope you all enjoyed!

Elsa, You wanna build a snoooooman?

HI!!!!!!

I know that I haven't done a tutorial is ages. With that being said, I plan on doing two a week, just to make up for the lack of videos this last six months. I really have missed you guys! I'm seriously thinking about doing two a week.... Manic Mondays-the videos will go up on Mondays and be videos of pretty and fairly easy looks that could be worn during the work week...And then Fantastic Fridays-where anything can happen! ;)

With Halloween right around the corner, I wanted to jump start this awesome Holiday season off with FROZEN! The look the Elsa wears is something that's completely different than any of the other Disney princesses or Queens for that matter (with out having to turn your face green).

Now I've worn this look several times out in public, and I always get the same reaction. Everyone (and I mean even the guys) love this look. I receive so many compliments that it's CRAZY! I hope that you guys love it too!

For this look, I used:
Too Face Shadow Insurance
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Purple Velvet
BH Cosmetics 120 Eyeshadow Palette 4th Edition
Urban Decay Naked 3-Strange
Forever Noir Long Wearing Eye Liner in Black
Elf Liquid Eye Liner in Black
Cover Girl Flamed Out Mascara
Revlon Photo Ready Bronzer
Smashbox Blush Rush in Paradise
NYX Plush Red lip liner
LAQA&Co. Lip Lube in Manitor (Purple)

I hope that you guys enjoyed this look!